If you've been researching coaching and psychotherapy, you have surely run into the questions about the differences between the two. It runs the gamut; Is Coaching the same as therapy? Can Coaches provide mental health care? Can Psychotherapists provide coaching? Is Coaching really therapy in disguise? How do I know the differences between the two and which do I need?
There is a lot of misinformation circulating. One of the most troubling I often observe is Coaches and Psychotherapists inaccurately interpreting the practice of and the laws governing the two practices. I assure you they are very different and are regulated as such. I am going to do my best to describe the differences and offer my opinion with legal citations on them both.
And, as always, if you have questions about healthcare law you should consult with a healthcare lawyer who specializes in interpreting and advising on the area of law in question.
Coaching focuses on...
It’s not easy putting yourself out there. We are making ourselves vulnerable. We are taking risks. We will make mistakes. We are opening ourselves up to rejection and criticism. That is not necessarily fun, but it is necessary for growth and it builds grit.
"I am always doing things I can't do, that's how I get to do them." — Pablo Picasso
Managing Confidence and Imposter Syndrome.
The key to building unshakeable confidence is being willing to laugh at yourself and accept failures as part of growth. By not caring too much about what other people think and letting other people’s criticism roll off of you.
Be kind and gentle with yourself. We are all failing every day. No one has their shit together all of the time. We must be willing to push ourselves through discomfort to get ahead. Otherwise, everything becomes a non-starter.
Confidence and vulnerability work together. Be afraid and courageous at the same time.
TIPS FOR MANAGING IMPOSTER SYNDROME...
How to Decide the Type of Training you Need for Upward Career Mobility
You’ve decided that there are knowledge and new skills and experience you need to gain. How do you decide what training is the best option?
Certifications, Courses, Advanced Degrees, or Self-Directed Learning?
First, what do the job market data say? Is certification or an advanced degree necessary for the work you want to target? If yes, then you know what to do.
If no, what are your best options?
Types of Professional Development
A Certification, Course, Program, or an Advanced Degree will offer a systematic process for learning new knowledge and skills. Learning by doing will help you develop the advanced experience and skills.
Self-Directed Learning and Skill Building by Doing
Learning by doing is my favorite way to develop advanced skills. It is the fastest way to gain experience. But there are some small obstacles to overcome with this method.
What happens when we give power, control, or decision-making to someone else or another external source other than ourselves?
We may want someone to make the hard decisions for us and wait for things to implode. Or, we may become enraged, defeated, and hyper-focused on an undesirable circumstance or someone who does something that we don't like.
This leaves us disempowered and focused on things that are out of our control. In effect, we are less focused on problem-solving and finding solutions.
In psychology, we call this an external locus of control - our happiness or success depends on some other reality, circumstance, entity, or person (barring trauma and other factors that require our attention).
How do we know when we are focused on the wrong things?
- When we are focused on controlling the uncontrollable - giving energy, resources, and power to something else instead of focusing on what we have control over.
This sets us up for anger, anxiety, depression, and failure....
My all-time favorite tool for analyzing performance problems at work for managers (also useful for self-regulation).
One commonly overlooked performance issue is related to punishing performance and rewarding non-performance. This flowchart offers a simple guide for analyzing performance issues related to skills, knowledge, or performance reinforcement.
Applying Scientific Method To Career Decisions: Understanding Data Saturation and Decision-Making
There is a point in research where you hit what analysts call data saturation - where no new information is discovered and the data we have collected repeats itself. This is how we know it is time to move forward to analyzing our data.
There is another important thing in research when undertaking a study where we research a narrowly focused topic area. (That is, if we ever want to complete our study and get answers. Especially in grad school where the goal is to graduate).
These two things are important for me to mention because sometimes my clients are so curious that they want to know all things about all things and that keeps them stuck and unable to progress forward. That is not a sound scientific method.
I have seen this many times with people in both business and career change. They cannot commit to a starting point and direction, get...
Check out the following article in the New York Times about Attachment Styles at Work and see how you can benefit from being aware of your triggers and what to do about it.
Those with a secure attachment style at work take tasks as they come, do what they can and address issues that come up easily.
They work hard and do not fear saying no when they feel they need to.
They know they are capable, and they are confident that others will respond well to them.
How to tell if this is you
You generally fare best when it comes to managing your time. You are comfortable prioritizing tasks and asking for help when you need it.
You also feel comfortable setting healthy boundaries and pushing back when necessary, and you do not often engage in fear-based behavior.
What to do about it
If you have a secure attachment style at work, you are most likely managing your time well and achieving good work-life balance.
Stay secure but be aware.
Regularly ask for direct feedback...
Some of us are sprinters at work.
We work in long, all-in, intense bursts. Then, we need rest to recover. That’s an important part of the performance cycle too.
Often, we have a hard time claiming that for ourselves because of imposed judgment from others or because we're not maximizing our time optimally.
If you can’t take the time, build in your rest periods with tasks with lower intensity and less cognitive drain.
You’re probably doing it automatically anyway but with unproductive distractions and less control.
My clients are doing time studies over the next few weeks to prepare for Q3 and track and analyze how they are spending their time.
They’re coding for activities, energy levels throughout the day, moods, emotions, thoughts, distractions, procrastination, unconscious habits and patterns, etc.
We will analyze their data to tweak and optimize their productivity and performance.
Conduct your own time study and note your patterns. I bet you’ll...
I used to work with hardcore juvie kids in the community.
They were gun-toting gangsters and drug dealers with terrible impulse control and underdeveloped decision-making skills.
I still can’t believe I ever did that work. It was dangerous.
But, they were human and I learned a whole lot about seeing people eye to eye, digging deeper, and engagement.
One of the strategies that we used to get buy-in and lower their defenses (engagement) when they were getting into too much trouble with the police and in school was, “Let’s make you less of a target. This is what we need to do…”
We worked within context.
This applies to us at work too.
Many of us are doers, advocates, idealists, and perfectionists with strong personalities. Some things are well worth the good fight, and some just aren’t.
I often say to my people, "You are focusing on the wrong shit."
We need to be clear about what matters most, where to focus our energy, and keep focused on...
Defensiveness is self-preservation around insecurity. It’s a vulnerability issue. (A primal response to a perceived threat).
I worked with a consultant who would say, “First the hugs, then the kicks.”
To help lower our defenses, he would follow up with something like: “You are strong in these areas and my opinion is that you could be stronger in these areas... This is what I think you could do to be stronger.”
We never loved the critiques and we would still sometimes become a little defensive, but we knew he cared and was on our side.
We trusted him. His honesty, language, and priming always took some of the stings out of it.
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